My husband and I had a silly disagreement. He thinks being content means you’re not improving, growing or moving towards something new and different. I believe contentment means being at peace, regardless of your circumstances.
I would never advocate for anyone to take a side in an argument between spouses. If you did, you’d be wrong anyway, because we are both right.
What???? That never happens. What fun is that? Let’s set aside our competitive nature, and hear me out.
If you’re content, you’re content regardless of your circumstances. Contentment is peace and bliss guarded with resilience against the inevitable detours of life. It doesn’t mean you’re a robot that never fears or fails. It just means you’re like the Chumbawamba song. When you get knocked down, you get up again. Nothing’s ever gonna keep you down. You don’t give power to the haters or allow the opinions of others to define your self-worth. You know you and you are content with you. Ok, I admit, this isn’t an easy place to get to. I’ve worked with my own coach for years to grow with intentionality everyday in my thoughts and actions to center myself with contentment.
I believe what my husband is talking about is complacency.
Merriam Webster’s Definition of complacency is “self-satisfaction; especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies. An instance of usually unaware or uninformed self-satisfaction. Another Googled definition is “a feeling of self-satisfaction, often combined with a lack of awareness of pending trouble or controversy. An example of complacency is the type of attitude a long time leader may have.”
Ever encountered that kind of person? I actually feel sorry for them, because they must fear change so much, they’re not willing to take a risk and embrace something new. It’s much harder to put yourself out there and possibly fail, than it is to criticize what others are trying to do or change.
Look around at the leaders you know at work, school, or church. It’s not hard to see complacency. Leaders who no longer evolve, grow, improve things or listen to people around them about the pending problems they should proactively address. No, no. They’d rather ride under the radar, do just enough to get by, and complain with other complacent people. The really ironic thing is, they really do think they’ve EARNED complacency by having proved themselves once upon a time.
I think complacency also rears its ugly head when someone stays in a job too long. A complacent person is someone who yearns for the “good ol’ days” of how things use to be and smugly thinks that any new ideas or ways of doing things is just preposterous. Because of course, change is never for the better, because if it was, they would’ve tried that already. Because they know better. They’ve “been there, done that.”
Often times complacency is not the result of arrogance, but of lacking self-awareness. None of us want to admit when we’ve been doing something for too long, and it’s time to allow new and fresh thinking to takeover.
Long gone are the days of getting an entry level position in a company and tediously working your way up the corporate ladder until you retire with a gold watch and party. Many lament these days of company loyalty. I would argue as dynamic and diverse human beings, this is the exact opposite of how we should work. While I believe we are each uniquely gifted, if we’re lifelong learners, seekers, and adventurers, our passions and curiosities will continue to evolve. Being complacent will only halt your growth, and keeping you stagnant. Just as our bodies are not meant to sit still in one place for a length of time, neither is our mind meant to stay still without increasing knowledge and expanding our capabilities. If you don’t use a muscle, you lose it.
We should constantly be seeking new ways to do things, to continuously improve what we do and how we do it in any job or position, regardless of how much time is spent in the role. We just need to heed the warning signs of complacency and comfort. If you’re too comfortable, you’re dangerously flirting with complacency, and may just be time to move onto something new. Will it be scary? Absolutely! Change is never easy. We fear failure so much as a species that we avoid taking a leap of faith because we prefer the devil we know vs the devil we don’t. Before we know it, we’ve missed out on opportunities to learn, grow, meet new people, open our minds up to new experiences and memorable adventures!
But the grass isn’t always greener you say? You’re right. It might be Astro turf. It might have weeds. But how will you ever know until you step out on the field? Stop comparing the shades of green and take a risk. You can always change the game or play a new one. Variety – is after all – the spice of life.
Karlynn Holbrook 