I consider myself a positive person. An optimistic realist. I see the reality of the world around me, but I choose to anticipate brighter days and choose to act in brighter ways.
These quaran-days make it harder to stay positive, but not impossible. The key? I saw a meme recently with the perfect way to handle our emotions through this. Invite your fears to come in, learn from them, process, but don’t let them stay. We have to let ourselves feel the yuck. The sad, the anxiety, the fear, the blahs. We need to give ourselves permission to grieve lost jobs, distance from loved ones, and mourn the state of our world. But don’t pitch a tent and camp there. Worry doesn’t do anyone any good.
I know, I know, everyone has a remedy. Wake up early, still put on make-up and normal clothes, create a routine, blah, blah, blah. The truth is, there is not a one-size-fits-all formula. Why? Because we aren’t one-size-fits-all human beings. While we wade through a common cause, the effect is vastly different on each one of us. And that’s ok! It’s normal. The remedy for crappy times as these is something only you can create for yourself. Bless the internet for giving us inspiration and ability to share encouraging memes, quotes, and make mood and vision boards on Pinterest, but it’s YOUR choice how to bring all the ingredients together for a recipe that bakes a cake to your tastebuds.
For me personally, getting fully dressed and putting on make-up doesn’t give me any sense of purpose. In fact, I look at one of the perks of being quarantined is the fact that I don’t have to wear a bra, put on make-up or wear anything but T-Shirts, jammie bottoms and fuzzy socks. Now that’s ME, what about you? If that does make you feel better, then by all means, do it! What helps me is journaling a daily list of the things I’m thankful for. Gratitude for life’s basic needs, the simple things, my online community of friends and family. Super blessed.
Just don’t overdo it. If you want to use this time to write the next great novel, then do it! But if you just need to Netflix and chill, then do that! Just stay in tune with how you’re feeling moment to moment. Show yourself self-compassion and practice self-care in whatever definition that means for you.
Now here’s a little preachy comment I must say. Throw away your mental crystal ball! Stop trying to predict the future or allow yourself to spiral with negative “what if’s” of what might happen in the future. NOBODY knows what the future holds. Not the WHO, CDC, Govt, NOBODY! Ok, except God, but certainly no humans know. All the data and expert predictions in the world cannot 100% say anything for certain. Personally, I stopped watching news a while ago. The maybes, the arguing, political clashes and media slants do not serve my mental health and well-being.
Until decisions – that are out of our control – are made, it will only give you intense anxiety and fear for the future if you allow your negative thoughts to take over. The only thing you CAN control, is how you react, act, and feel, and that’s enough. Preparing and planning is way different than predicting.
My heart breaks for everyone impacted. Whether it’s job furlough, loss, illness or you’re an amazing first responder on the frontlines. Thank you for everything you’re doing!
My hope and prayer is that this situation, that has put us all on the same level playing field, will only bring us closer, enhance our empathy, and flatten the curve of the 1% vs 99% mentality, because we are all equal human beings and all in this together. It’s warmed my heart to see the free concerts, talks, classes, positivity being spread online (SGN anyone?).
We have in our control to be a light in the darkness. In order to do this, you have to feel all the feels – good and bad – so you can heal and show empathy to others.
We got this, everyone. I promise. With some grit and grace, we can help each other grow through what we go through. Feel what you feel, recognize where you are, and take it one day at a time…
Karlynn Holbrook 