In My Opinion

Social media is a powerful tool. It’s a fantastic way to stay connected with people all over the world, share our lives, our photos and celebrate personal milestones when we have miles (or a pandemic) between us. It’s also our platform to express ourselves, share causes important to us, reveal our values, and speak our minds about current events.

Sounds great, right?

Freedom of speech and expression are definitely part of my core beliefs. I believe everyone has the right to speak their minds and believe whatever they want to believe, even if I disagree with them.

How did honoring such a freedom lead us to such a dangerously divisive society?

People are judging their own “friend” communities for what they are posting or even what they are not posting. What is deemed “offensive” has dangerously ventured into what you use to just disagree about – politics, religion, opinions. Remember those? If this person is so “offensive,” how were they in your network to begin with? Do you not know them beyond a social profile? Actually, for many of us, that’s probably the case. A connection from high school, an acquaintance from work, another room mom.

There is no more compromising, or “that’s a good point” being said. Every topic has become polarizing and sides formed. People are unfriending and unfollowing. I even witnessed a group of “friends” badmouthing another “friend” on someone else’s wall on FB because they didn’t like their political posts or beliefs. How is this not a form of bullying? I can’t be the only one who remembers pre-social media days when we use to have a healthy verbal debate. One where you could still share a beer afterwards even if you disagreed. My how “far” we’ve come.

Sharing an article or meme is one thing, but people are attempting to have political and social issue debates in writing on “walls” and in commenting. Often times people attack other people’s friends they don’t even know. Borrowing a term I heard from a friend of mine, there are keyboard warriors who seem to actively be looking for a fight or comment. They are quick to judge anything and everything someone is putting in their social post. I think it’s time to take up baking or some other more productive hobby.

A very recent example I saw happening this past week were people making assumptions and calling out people and businesses, that if you don’t participate in posting Black Lives Matter, you must be a racist and should be ashamed.

I’ve had many conversations (yes, actual, verbal ones) this past week with people who fear to post anything for fear they will say something wrong. I’ve had conversations with people who are black, but didn’t participate in blackout Tuesday. I’ve had conversations with several people who stopped going on social media because to them it’s become an “us vs them” across politics, social issues, even COVID-19. Some people I know are posting news and media that have unpopular opinions, or heaven forbid it’s an article from “that” news network. Isn’t that called having an open mind? Getting educated? Trying to see all sides and perspectives THEN make up your mind? I mean COVID-19 is the best example, as nobody had or has the complete picture accurately, because information changes constantly. The media reports what it wants, and what is most sensational for the ratings. That’s not a political statement. That’s a fact for all news outlets. Which is why you should never get your information from one source.

Everyone processes crisis, change, world events, and situations differently. Some need time to digest. Some research. Some are quick to react, some don’t react. Some react away from internet eyes. Some react and it’s taken wrong, because in writing you can’t hear tone, see body language or have real dialogue.

Can we stop crowd shaming other people in the name of what is “right” or good, and just let people process and react in the way that makes sense for them? I really hope someone doesn’t think the entirety of who I am, what I believe, and what’s happening in my life is all on social media. That’s just a highlights reel.

Here’s a few easy suggestions to building back some bridges:

1. Step Away from the Keyboard. If you want to discuss a topic, issue or ask where someone stands, go old school. Pick up the phone, Zoom, Skype, Slack, BlueJeans, Webex, should I keep going on the many ways you can connect even if you can’t sit closer than 6-feet right now? Where there is a will, there is a way. When you do discuss and debate. Seek first to understand, show empathy, and love. If you can’t agree, then at minimum respect the fact you have the freedom to think and feel anything you want, even if you don’t like what they have to say.
2. Don’t assume because someone doesn’t engage on social media in the way YOU think they should on a particular topic, that they MUST then feel “X” or be a “Y.” If someone doesn’t know you well enough to know WHO you are, then they are not really a friend to begin with. If you want to know where someone stands on something, ask.
3. It’s your feed, do what you wanna do. Ultimately, it is your prerogative to say what you want to say on social media. Just give others the exact same courtesy and respect. If you want to post about saving the environment, then by all means. But don’t judge someone else who wants to use their social platforms to not save the environment, or simply to share cat photos or recipes.

Don’t you see, what’s contributing to this terrible division is everyone dividing out the people who don’t think like you, act like you, agree with you…is what’s next dividing out someone who doesn’t look like you?

In my opinion.